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Why Do I Tell Myself to “Get Over It” Even When I’m Struggling?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Telling yourself to “get over it” is often something you learned from other people. If your feelings, needs, or struggles were dismissed growing up, you may have learned to dismiss…

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Why Does Caring for Myself Feel Wrong?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Caring for yourself can feel wrong if your needs were ignored, criticized, punished, or treated like a burden growing up. You may have learned that other people’s needs mattered more…

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Why Do I Automatically Blame Myself?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Automatically blaming yourself is often a learned survival response. Many people learn in childhood that it feels safer to believe “it was my fault” than to accept that someone else…

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Why Is It So Hard to Let Go of Negative Beliefs After Trauma?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Imagine a stack of 2,000 pennies. Each one represents a time you were told — directly or indirectly — “You’re worthless.” Now picture one single penny beside it. That’s the…

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Why Do Trauma-Based Beliefs Feel Automatic or Unquestionable?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Trauma-based beliefs can feel automatic or unquestionable because they were formed through repeated experiences. Rehearsing these beliefs over time reinforces them, creating strong neural pathways in your brain. These strong…

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Why Do These Rules Still Affect Me Even when I’m Safe Now?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Trauma-based rules can continue to affect you even when you are safe because they were learned during times when your system needed them to survive. Your brain and body don’t…

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Why Do These Beliefs Feel Like Facts Instead of Learned Responses?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Trauma-based beliefs can feel like facts because they were formed through repeated experiences, often during times when your brain was focused on staying safe. When something happens over and over,…

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Why Do I Follow Rules I Didn’t Consciously Choose?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

At an earlier time in your life, your nervous system identified ways of behaving or thinking that increased your safety in unsafe circumstances. Your brain looks for patterns and creates…

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What Are Trauma-Based Survival Beliefs?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

Trauma-based survival beliefs are ideas about yourself, other people, or the world that formed as a result of traumatic experiences. These beliefs are not random; they developed based on what…

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What Are “Invisible Rules” in Trauma?

  • Post author:Alicia Polk

“Invisible rules” are rules that you developed over time as a result of observing and learning what helped keep you safe. These weren’t externally imposed upon you by others. These…

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