When Old Beliefs Still Feel True (The Penny Stack)
(Summary) Trauma can make painful beliefs feel true long after you’ve recognized they aren’t factual. When a message like “You’re worthless” is repeated hundreds or thousands of times, the brain stores it as familiar — and familiarity often feels like truth. In this post, we explore why trauma-based thoughts continue to feel real, how repetition shapes your internal sense of “fact,” and how small moments of challenging these beliefs slowly build a new, healthier understanding. This gentle explanation can help you make sense of why shame lingers and how healing gradually shifts what feels true.
If you’ve ever wondered why painful beliefs still feel true even after you’ve realized they’re not factual, picture this.
Take a roll of pennies — 50 coins — and stack them.
Then place a single penny next to it.
That single penny doesn’t look like much, does it?
Now imagine a stack of 2,000 pennies instead of 50.
That big stack represents every time you were told, “You’re worthless.”
And that single penny?
That’s you — the first time you realized that statement wasn’t a fact, but an opinion.
One penny doesn’t look like much beside two thousand.
That’s why those old beliefs continue to feel true for a long time — because repetition makes them familiar.
Each time you challenge that old opinion, you’re adding another penny to your new stack — each reminder, each moment of noticing, each bit of evidence.
And slowly, your stack grows.
One day, that small pile of truth starts to stand taller than the old belief.
And that’s when your new understanding finally feels true.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why does a belief still feel true even after I realize it’s not factual?
Because the body responds to repetition. When a message like “You’re worthless” was repeated hundreds or thousands of times, the nervous system learned to treat it as familiar — and familiarity often feels like truth, even long after you’ve challenged the belief.
2. How does trauma repetition make a belief feel real?
Repeated messages strengthen neural pathways. Every time you heard, thought, or felt a painful belief, that pathway became more practiced. The belief isn’t accurate — it’s familiar. And the brain often mistakes familiarity for truth.
3. How long does it take for a new belief to feel true?
It varies. A single moment of insight rarely outweighs years of reinforced messages. But each time you challenge the old belief — each “penny” you add to the new stack — you build a pathway that eventually becomes stronger than the old one.
4. What if I understand the belief isn’t true but I still feel ashamed?
That’s normal. Emotional residue can linger even after you reject the belief intellectually. The feeling reflects repetition, not accuracy. Shame fading over time is a sign of healing, not a requirement before healing can begin.
5. Does challenging an old belief mean pretending something positive instead?
No. You don’t need to jump from “I’m worthless” to “I’m amazing.”
A more realistic step is:
“This belief was repeated, not proven.”
Gradual, accurate reframing is more effective — and more believable — than forced positivity.
6. Is this the same as “fake it until you make it”?
Not at all. You’re not faking anything. You’re practicing a belief supported by evidence, even if it feels unfamiliar at first. Over time, repetition helps your nervous system recognize the new belief as true.
7. Why does the old belief sometimes feel stronger when I try to challenge it?
Because challenging the belief disrupts a long-practiced pattern. It can temporarily activate old emotional reactions or internal protectors. This doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means the system is adjusting.
8. Can different parts of a DID system hold different beliefs?
Yes. Different parts may have learned different messages based on their roles or experiences. Some parts may accept a new belief sooner than others. That’s normal, and internal disagreement doesn’t mean progress isn’t happening.
9. What if the new belief feels too small to matter?
Even a single counter-example — one piece of evidence — is the first “penny” in your new stack. It may feel tiny compared to years of repetition, but it’s how every belief change begins.
10. How do I know I’m making progress?
You may notice subtle shifts:
- shorter shame spirals
- quicker recovery after being triggered
- the old belief feeling less automatic
- more curiosity, less certainty, about the old message
These are signs your new stack is quietly growing.