Trauma is often misunderstood as only occurring with extreme or obvious events. Some people don’t recognize that they did experience trauma and minimize it, saying, “it wasn’t that bad.” This happens because people often believe that trauma is the event itself when trauma is actually how that event affects the nervous system.
What trauma actually is
Put simply, trauma occurs when the nervous system is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed means beyond the person’s capacity to cope with the situation. A horrific event may not result in trauma if the person’s nervous system is not overwhelmed by it. And this is why some happenings which might seem less serious to others can overwhelm and traumatize some people. Trauma is very individualized.
Trauma is subjective, and that matters
Two people may experience the same event very differently, with one person experiencing trauma and the other person getting through it untraumatized. Multiple factors have a role in whether or not a person experiences trauma:
• age • duration • support • power dynamics • prior experiences
The effects of the trauma are sometimes compounded by how people think of it. People often minimize or compare experiences, which can make the impact of trauma harder to see.
Trauma doesn’t require conscious memory
Sometimes people say, “I couldn’t have experienced trauma because I don’t have memories of anything bad.” It is a common and mistaken belief that trauma requires conscious memories. Because of how trauma is experienced by the nervous system, trauma is often retained in conscious memories only in confusing snippets, if that. However, there is a second kind of memory, that of the body. Much of a trauma story can be told through observing how the body reacts to what it views as potential threats. A lack of identifiable memories of trauma are especially common in cases when traumatic events started at an early age and in cases where the trauma was chronic.
Types of trauma
Trauma isn’t a one-size condition. For instance, there is what is called single-incident trauma, such as a car accident or being mugged. This is experienced differently than chronic or repeated trauma, such as intimate partner violence. Trauma may also be relational or developmental. Relational trauma results from harm or severe threat from people who are supposed to protect or care for the individual. Developmental trauma is trauma that occurs during childhood or adolescence and impacts the brain and nervous system, and its effects can impact the individual in many aspects of their life as an adult. It can include chronic stress and neglect, which are often not understood to be traumatic. Relational and developmental trauma often overlap, especially when harmful or unsafe relationships occur early in life.
Why trauma persists after danger has passed
The nervous system adapts to the threats in its environment by noticing which defensive responses are most effective over time. These responses are wired in deeply because they are about survival and they usually remain active thereafter. While these reactions may seem bothersome and unwanted in adult life, it is important to understand that when they originated in childhood, they were very well adapted to the situation. It is only now that the situation has changed that those reactions seem less helpful.