Because you are here, reading this page, you are likely wondering if you dissociate. Dissociation can be obvious or subtle and show up in many ways. It can be confusing to not know for sure how to explain your experiences.
Common forms of dissociation include emotional numbness or being able to recount what should be a distressing event without it upsetting you. Feeling like your body isn’t really yours, called depersonalization, and missing time are other experiences that can happen with dissociation. Dissociation can come and go, and often there is no clear explanation for why you just lost time or suddenly feel like you’re observing the world from behind a glass wall.
This page explains what dissociation actually is, why it happens, and how it commonly shows up. The goal isn’t to diagnose you or tell you what something “means,” but to help you recognize patterns, reduce fear, and make sense of experiences that can otherwise feel random or alarming.
What dissociation actually is
Dissociation is a function of the nervous system, a defense of last resort. When getting away from an extreme threat or overwhelming situation is impossible, the nervous system helps you escape the experience internally. Dissociation involves some degree of disconnection — from sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, surroundings, or a sense of self. Dissociation isn’t always intense or distressing; it can also appear in ordinary experiences like daydreaming. A child stuck in a classroom, bored and unable to leave, might escape into their head.
Dissociation exists on a spectrum from mild and everyday to more complicated and uncommon. It can show up in many forms, as well. Many people dissociate briefly under stress, fatigue, or emotional overload, while others experience it more frequently or intensely. Importantly, dissociation does not always involve memory loss, dramatic shifts, or obvious changes in awareness. For many people, it is subtle and easy to miss.
Common ways dissociation can show up include:
• Feeling emotionally numb, flat, or distant
• Feeling unreal, foggy, or “not fully here”
• Experiencing the world as muted, dreamlike, or slightly off
• Having difficulty staying engaged in conversations or tasks
• Feeling detached from your body or actions
Because dissociation often develops as a way to cope with overwhelming or unsafe experiences, it can persist long after the original threat is gone. When this happens, the response may feel confusing or out of place — even though it once served an important purpose. Understanding dissociation as a pattern, an attempt of your nervous system to keep you safe, can make these experiences feel less frightening and more coherent.
Why dissociation happens (and why triggers can feel invisible)
Dissociation is a nervous system response, not a conscious choice. It’s not random, although it might appear to be at first glance. When the nervous system picks up certain cues or signals that indicate a potential threat, it responds with the defensive behavior it determines is more protective for you at that time. Triggers can be subtle, such as a particular song playing in the background. What can make triggers even harder to identify is the fact that the nervous system may decide that even elements of the situation that were there by coincidence were actually cues.
For example, if cold, gray wintry days meant being stuck in the house with an abusive caretaker, the nervous system might continue to cause dissociation on days that are cold and gray when you are an adult.
Interestingly, calm or safety can be a trigger for dissociation, as well. For many people, prior experiences taught them that calm was the prelude to a dangerous situation. Therefore, feeling calm or safe can trigger the nervous system to respond defensively with dissociation. For others, calm allows all the “stuff” (emotions, memories, sensations) that was being suppressed by busyness, to be noticed. Dissociation can then separate the person from the threat that awareness poses.
Common questions about dissociation
Many people who are learning about dissociation have questions about triggers, time loss, or whether their experiences might be explained in another way. The pages below address some of those questions in more detail.
• What is dissociation, really?
• Why weather can be an invisible trauma trigger
• Dissociation or ADHD?
• Are you losing time?
Optional resources related to dissociation:
• Losing Time
• Weather as a trigger