Dissociation is a survival strategy the nervous system uses when the person is overwhelmed by feelings during a time of danger or extreme stress. It can also happen when the nervous system mistakenly believes danger is present. When a person dissociates, their awareness of the present moment lessens. This means emotions are not experienced as strongly and the person may feel distant from their body or the present moment.
When physical escape from an overwhelming or threatening situation is not possible, the nervous system uses dissociation to create a mental escape. This allows people to survive terrible events without experiencing the full effect of them. Dissociation is a powerful protective strategy.
Why dissociation happens
Dissociation is a protective response the mind uses when something feels too much, too fast, or too unsafe to stay fully present. It is automatic, controlled by the autonomic nervous system. While it might seem like a flawed response to threats, it began as an elegant solution. When an individual is not able to physically get away from such situations, dissociation provides a mental escape.
Dissociation often develops in situations involving chronic stress, repeated overwhelm, or situations where escape is not possible. Because children have few other means of protecting themselves from overwhelming threats, they are especially likely to develop dissociation at an early age when living in dangerous or overwhelming situations.
Dissociation can continue to happen beyond the original circumstances and may occur even when no true threat is present. This is because the nervous system learned that dissociation was an effective strategy. When the nervous system detects cues that it associates with potential threat requiring dissociation, then it responds with dissociation rather than some other defensive response. Because it protected the individual during real danger, dissociation becomes deeply ingrained in the nervous system as a response to perceived threat. Note that the appearance of dissociation does not prove that a threat is present, only that the nervous system noticed a cue which it associates with the presence of threat.
How dissociation can show up in everyday life
Dissociation varies in how it is experienced. Many people have experienced dissociation in everyday situations, such as becoming so absorbed in a movie that they lose awareness of their surroundings. If you ever completed a drive in your car on “autopilot” and realized afterward you don’t remember the drive, you have experienced dissociation.
Some other common examples of dissociation experienced in everyday life are:
• Feeling spaced out, foggy, or mentally distant
• Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from feelings
• Losing track of time or having gaps in memory
• Feeling detached from the body or like the body doesn’t feel quite “real”
• Feeling like reality isn’t real, as though you are in a simulation.
Experiences like these can happen for many reasons. It is important to note that a person can experience dissociation at times without having a dissociative disorder.
Dissociation exists on a spectrum
Dissociation takes many forms and exists on a spectrum, from mild experiences (such as driving on ‘autopilot’) to more complex forms (such as Dissociative Identity Disorder). It also ranges on a varies in frequency. That is, how often is it occurring and in how many forms or areas of life? Occasional dissociation would be mild but dissociation which happens frequently or in many situations would be considered more disruptive to daily life. Stress, illness, and overwhelm can temporarily increase the frequency or the severity of dissociation. The important thing to remember is that people can dissociate without necessarily having a dissociative disorder.
What dissociation is not
Dissociation is frequently misunderstood, which can lead people to draw inaccurate or harmful conclusions about themselves. Common misconceptions of dissociation include:
• Dissociation is not a sign of weakness • Dissociation is not something people choose or do on purpose • Dissociation is not attention-seeking • Dissociation is not always obvious or dramatic • Dissociation is not a failure to cope
Dissociation reflects how the nervous system adapted to protect a person, not a flaw in character or strength.
Why dissociation can be confusing or missed
Dissociation is a quiet defensive response, so it can go unnoticed. People are not yelling, attacking, or trying to get away. Instead, they simply withdraw their conscious awareness of the situation. There is nothing which easily identifies, “This person is dissociating.” Dissociation has many forms and can be experienced in different ways. For instance, dissociation may feel like emotional distance from events around the person, as a fogginess, or as a distance from the person’s own body, where the body feels unfamiliar. When a person dissociates frequently, others may misunderstand this to be part of the person’s personality.
Dissociation is also difficult to identify because it can look like a symptom for other issues. For example, the difficulty focusing on the present due to dissociation can look like distraction or inattention and be mistaken for ADHD. When dissociation is in the form of emotional distance, the person’s responses might be viewed by others as laziness, lack of motivation or as a mood disorder such as depression or anxiety. Understanding these differences can be clarifying, and many people explore them further once they begin to recognize dissociation.