Why Do I Assume Others Are Right and I Am Wrong?

Assuming others are right and that you are wrong is often a trauma response. People with dissociative systems often grew up in environments where they were not allowed to have opinions or beliefs. For instance, imagine a young child says, “When I grow up I’m going to be a superhero.” They may be met with laughter or scorn. The abusive authority figure may even say, “What a stupid thing to say! Of course you won’t be a superhero.” Over time, children learn that they are usually wrong and to look to others for the right answers. In some environments, agreeing with authority figures may also have reduced conflict, punishment, humiliation, or danger.

You might have experienced a lot of gaslighting, as well. When you are repeatedly told you remember things incorrectly, you will learn to distrust yourself. Looking to others for the “correct” version of reality may once have been an important survival strategy. Survival strategies often continue automatically into adulthood until they are intentionally recognized, questioned, and gradually replaced with new ways of functioning.

This page is part of the Self Trust section of the CommuniDID site, which explains how self-doubt, second-guessing, and internal uncertainty develop, particularly in environments involving invalidation, gaslighting, or inconsistent feedback.

Explore more:

• Questions about Self Trust
• Survival Strategies: How Trauma Responses Made Sense at the Time

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