When you think about system communication, what does that look like to you? You might be surprised at what I’m going to share with you as forms of communication from members of your system. Communication within your system, especially early in recovery, goes beyond the use of words. You may be experiencing more communication than you were aware of prior to this video.
- A “sense” of a response. Sometimes, you might not get an explicit answer or response to a question, but you have a sense of what their response is. It’s a feeling of some kind. You can test your sense by then asking if you are sensing correctly what their response is. In my experience, clients are often quick to discount this form of communication because it doesn’t seem “real” or because they worry they are simply imagining it or getting an answer that they want. I encourage my clients to be open to those sensations as real communications.
- Images in your mind’s eye. For example, if you aren’t sure who might be talking to you, you can ask. You might be shown an image of someone. Or for a young alter or an alter who is mute (doesn’t talk), you might ask them to show you a green traffic light for “yes” and a red traffic light for “no” and an amber light for “maybe.” Or they can show you their open hand for “yes” and a closed fist for “no.” You can get creative and work in whatever way suits your particular needs best. Returning to the previous point, if you want to test whether your sense of another part’s response is correct but you are not able to hear the alter, you might ask them to show you the green or red light to tell you if you are picking up their response correctly.
- Speech you hear in your head. You may hear a system member talking in your head space. (Note: Although less common, some people experience hearing other system members as external voices). Intrusive thoughts (often misattributed to OCD) can be a part “intruding” into your consciousness and can be a communication.
- Emotions. Sometimes, alters communicate through emotions. For instance, you might be feeling scared without knowing why. It could very well be that what you are experiencing is the fear of an alter that is so strong you are experiencing it as your fear. When you experience an emotion that doesn’t seem to make sense, you can ask inside if the emotion belongs to anyone. You might invite them to show you the red or green light for a response.
- Body sensations. As with emotions, another way system members may communicate is through physical sensations. If you are experiencing some physical sensation such as a sudden headache or pain in some part of your body, you can ask if anyone inside is trying to communicate through that sensation. It’s not always a negative or unpleasant sensation, either. A member of your system might communicate agreement, for example, through a sense of warmth in the body or in a part of the body or a sense of relaxation, and so forth. Even numbness and loss of energy can be communications from system members (Janina Fisher,Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma).
- Actions. Have you ever found yourself taking an action you can’t explain? For example, perhaps you find yourself hiding in a closet with no recollection of how you got there or why you went there. Or perhaps you find evidence that you’d been in the kitchen in the middle of the night, without any idea of what you did there or why you were there. These actions can be communications from other parts. In the first example, this could be a scared part communicating their fear, their sense of being in danger. In the second example, this might be a young part who never knew when they were going to be allowed to eat and is seeking food while they aren’t being observed. There are reasons for behaviors that don’t appear to make sense at first glance.
Take a moment to think about each form of communication discussed here. Can you identify parts of your system using any of these? What are the most common forms of communication within your system? What are the least used forms of communication within your system? Are there any forms discussed that you are not using but think could be helpful for your system?