Don’t Wait Until You’re “Back to Normal” to Look for Recovery

(Summary) Recovery from decompensation, or system collapse, is often gradual. If you measure recovery only by whether you can function the way you did before decompensation, you may overlook meaningful changes happening much earlier. Recognizing these early improvements can help you see that recovery is underway, identify what may be helping, and avoid pushing yourself too hard before your capacity has fully returned.

When people experience decompensation, what I also call system collapse, functioning is severely diminished. Tasks or activities you normally do can seem overwhelming or require too much from you. Understandably, many people measure their recovery from decompensation against a single standard: “Can I function the way I did before?”

“Back to normal” is a late marker of recovery

Although decompensation may happen quite rapidly, recovery is often much more gradual. People are rarely decompensated one day and fully recovered the next. When the measuring stick is, “Can I function the way I did before?” the answer is often “no.” This focus may cause you to miss earlier signs of recovery. Missing evidence of early recovery can lead some people to become discouraged or hopeless.

Early signs give you information about what’s helping

In addition to avoiding discouragement, noticing early changes can help you learn what may be helpful in a future decompensation episode. Paying attention to early signs of recovery gives you useful feedback that may be difficult to identify when looking back later. These small changes may provide information that can help you decide what to continue, adjust, or protect.

So what can early signs look like? It might look like you doing the same amount that you were doing a week ago, but it doesn’t exhaust you to the same extent. Early signs of recovery might show up in needing a shorter recovery from a task or from overwhelm. Signs that you are beginning to recover from decompensation may also include tolerating slightly more stimulation, social interaction, or decision-making than previously—even if it’s not as much as before you experienced decompensation.

For systems, early signs of recovery from system collapse might include some communication rather than none. This may still be less than before system collapse, but it is returning slowly.

Missing early recovery can contribute to pushing too hard

In a previous video in this series, I talked about how trying to recover harder can actually delay recovery. If you are missing early signs of recovery from decompensation, you might be tempted to try to push, to force more functioning, because you are frustrated. If you are aware of early signs of improvement, you might find more patience to protect your newly returning capacity instead of pushing. Although it may feel frustratingly slow, protecting your returning capacity may support recovery better than repeatedly pushing beyond it.

Recovery and recovered are different

It’s understandable that many survivors of complex trauma, especially complex childhood trauma, think in all-or-nothing terms. “Either I’m recovered or I’m not.” I want to help you focus on the gray area in between the black and white: you can be recovering without being fully recovered. You can be functioning far below where you were and also be functioning better than you were at the worst of decompensation. The more helpful question to be asking during recovery from decompensation is likely to be “Is anything changing in a helpful direction?” rather than, “Am I back yet?”

Next steps

Instead of focusing on returning to full functioning, look for evidence of improvements from how you were doing early in decompensation. Remind yourself that you may not be fully back to normal, but you are on the road to recovery.

For a more detailed look at signs of early recovery, see the video in the free membership over at CommuniDID.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if you’re recovering from decompensation?

Instead of asking only whether you can function the way you did before decompensation, look for changes in a helpful direction. You might notice that the same activities are less exhausting, you recover more quickly after overwhelm, you can tolerate slightly more stimulation or decision-making, or some system communication begins returning.

Do you have to be back to normal to be recovering from decompensation?

No. Recovering and being fully recovered are different. You can still be functioning well below your previous level while also functioning better than you did during the worst of the decompensation.

Why is it important to notice early signs of recovery from decompensation?

Early improvements can provide useful feedback about what may be helping. Recognizing them can also reduce discouragement and make it easier to protect returning capacity rather than pushing yourself because it seems as though nothing is changing.

Can recovery from decompensation be gradual?

Yes. Although decompensation can happen rapidly, recovery is often much more gradual. Smaller changes may appear before you return to your previous level of functioning.

What question can I ask myself while recovering from decompensation?

Instead of focusing only on “Am I back yet?” try asking, “Is anything changing in a helpful direction?” This can make smaller signs of recovery easier to recognize.

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