How can I deal with alters who actively dislike or want to cut off certain friends? The friendship is admittedly not healthy, but I want to at least try with civil communication with the friend first, rather than jumping to a harsh response, but I’m worried someone else may do something drastic before I’m ready.
Have you talked with the alters who dislike this friendship and want to end it? If so, do they feel that you are listening to them and respecting their opinions?
If you haven’t talked with those alters, I believe that would be the place to start. If you genuinely hear them, they will be more likely to hear you when you explain how you want to proceed and why. Perhaps you and the other alters could come to some agreement on when they could step in. For example, they might agree to hold off taking action of their own while you arrange to have that conversation with the friend. If they are open to this, I encourage you to also commit to a time frame, such as one or two weeks, for you to arrange the conversation. (If this friend is easy to reach for a conversation, then you might want to ask for just a few days instead). At this point, I would want to know what the other alters are worried might happen when you have this conversation….
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