Your question is just two short sentences, but there is so much that could be said in response! I can’t talk about all the thoughts this raises, but I hope I address your concern.
First of all, I’m not sure what you mean by “core me.” I think you are referring to yourself and feeling like you are in some way a more fundamental part than the others in your system. I imagine you are the one who is handling most or all of everyday life. If so, it makes sense that it feels like it’s “your” life. It might be a weird and uncomfortable thought, but you are an alter, too. The others are just as real and important as you are, although it sounds like you are responsible for a lot of daily life.
As for determining when something is “you” and when something is another part of your system, it isn’t always easy to tell. When you are strongly influenced by a part close to the front or blended with another part, their thoughts, emotions, actions and so on may feel like they are yours in the moment. Only later, when you are no longer blended or being influenced, might you realize that in retrospect that wasn’t really you. This can be frustrating and confusing for some people, understandably.
The frustrating truth is: you can’t always tell. There isn’t a reliable test you can use to determine whether a thought, feeling, impulse, behavior, or ability belongs to you or is coming from another part. That’s particularly true when you’re blended or another part is influencing you from close to the front, because their experience can feel completely like your own.
Sometimes, you can look for small clues that can help you identify that it wasn’t “you” in that moment…
(continued in the membership)
To read the complete answer, or to submit a question of your own, create a free membership account and log in.
Have a question this page didn’t answer? Click “Yes” or “No” below and a comment box will appear where you can leave your question. Comments are reviewed but not made public.