Yes, something that doesn’t seem “that bad” can be traumatizing. For instance, a child who’s emotional needs are ignored may think it wasn’t “that bad” because they weren’t beaten or physically harmed. Yet, the child’s nervous system was left to cope with situations and emotions that were overwhelming for it, without the support of the caregiver. This is trauma.
Something may not seem bad enough to be traumatic because it’s all a person knows (such as the child who does not receive emotional support). Nobody thinks that their usual, everyday experiences are traumatic, but they may be. This can also be the case when the traumatizing event or behavior is considered normal within a community.
Something may not seem bad enough to be traumatic because you have compared yourself to someone else who had it worse, which somehow means then your suffering didn’t count, or because you can imagine how it could be worse. In other words, sometimes people convince themselves that something couldn’t be traumatic if it wasn’t the most extreme event possible. And yet less extreme events can still be traumatizing.
Something may not seem bad enough to be traumatic because it happened gradually, such as with the example of emotional neglect. Many traumatic experiences are not single events. They are patterns that occur over months or years. When something happens slowly and repeatedly, it can be difficult to recognize how much it affected you.
This page is part of the What Counts as Trauma? section of the CommuniDID site, which explains how trauma can occur without obvious violence and why survivors often doubt or normalize what happened to them.
Explore more:
- Questions about What Counts as Trauma?
- The guide What Counts as Abuse? helps readers evaluate past experiences and understand why confusion about abuse is common.
- What Counts As Trauma?
- Why It Can Be Hard to Recognize Your Own Trauma
- How Do I Know If Something I Experienced Was Traumatic?
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