Self-Regulation Exercise
(Summary) Strong emotions and nervous system overwhelm can be especially difficult to manage for people with DID or OSDD, where different parts of the system may experience distress in different ways. This two-object self-regulation exercise, inspired by grounding practices from Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation, offers a gentle, flexible way to settle when emotions feel like too much. Using one object to help set down tension or survival energy and another to take in steadiness or comfort, the exercise supports grounding without forcing calm, processing trauma, or requiring every part to participate. It can be adapted to your system’s needs and used whenever balance or regulation feels hard to access.
Inspired by an exercise in Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation.
This is an exercise that everyone in your system should be encouraged to try when you or they are feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions and wanting to settle or regain balance.
For this exercise, you’ll need two objects.
The first is something you can squeeze. If you have a stress ball, that works well. If not, a rolled-up washcloth or a balled-up pair of socks works just fine.
The second object is more personal. You’ll want something small that fits comfortably in your hand — something you could even slip into a pocket if you wanted to carry it with you later. This object should symbolize healing, well-being, or calm for you. It might be a rock, a photograph, a locket, or something similar. This object will likely be different for different alters or parts, and that’s completely okay.
Once you have your two objects, you’re ready to begin.
You can do this exercise sitting or standing. Just make sure both feet are firmly on the floor. Start by holding the object you’ll squeeze in your nondominant hand — so if you’re right-handed, that’s your left hand, and if you’re left-handed, your right.
Now, squeeze the object as firmly as you can while imagining that you’re squeezing out anything that feels like too much right now — tension, emotional pressure, mental noise, or survival energy that helped you earlier but isn’t needed in this moment.
You might imagine all of that flowing through your body, down your arm, into your hand, and into the object. Some people find it helpful to picture the squeeze object like a drain, pulling stress and hard things out of them and away.
Continue squeezing until it feels like you’ve drained what needs to come out — or until it simply feels right for you to be finished.
When you’re ready, release the object and let it fall to the ground, taking that tension and unneeded energy with it. You might imagine that, like light or sound or heat, whatever the object absorbed fades away into nothing once it’s released.
If you notice that there’s still some tension or emotional pressure left, you’re welcome to repeat this part of the exercise. When you stop, you should feel at least a little less stressed or agitated than before.
Next, take your healing object and hold it in your dominant hand.
As you hold it, imagine — or simply notice — that it’s overflowing with calm, steadiness, and healing. Whatever supportive qualities you need right now — settling, comfort, quiet — this object can offer them in abundance.
As you breathe in, you might visualize or notice that sense of calm moving into your hand, up your arm, and gradually spreading through your body. With each breath in, it can extend a little further. It might feel warm as it spreads, or you might imagine it as light moving through you.
This calming, healing energy can reach every part of you — your body, your mind, your heart. Any alters or parts who want to take it in are welcome to do so. Parts who would rather observe can simply notice what’s happening, and parts who don’t want to participate at all don’t have to.
As you breathe out, you can imagine anything that doesn’t feel supportive or healing gently leaving your body with the exhale.
When you’re ready to finish, consider slowly taking in and releasing one more breath, and then noticing something in the room around you that you like.
Any time you need calm or steadiness, you can return to this object and let what you need gently wash over you. Your object will never run out of healing energy.
One last thing: this exercise is for you. You’re always welcome to modify it in any way that feels helpful or makes sense for you and your system.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this exercise safe for people with DID or OSDD?
This exercise is designed as a grounding and self-regulation practice, not a trauma-processing exercise. It does not involve revisiting memories or pushing emotions to change. Each part of a system can choose whether and how to participate, observe, or opt out entirely. If anything feels overwhelming, it’s okay to stop.
What if different parts want to use different objects or imagine different things?
That’s completely okay. Different parts may need different objects, images, or qualities at different times. There is no “correct” way to do this exercise. Allowing variation often makes it more accessible and less triggering for dissociative systems.
What if I don’t feel calmer after doing the exercise?
This exercise isn’t meant to force calm or make distress disappear. Even a small reduction in internal pressure, a brief sense of steadiness, or simply stopping escalation counts. Sometimes the benefit shows up later rather than immediately.
Can I modify the exercise or skip parts of it?
Yes. This exercise is meant to be flexible and adjustable. You can change the imagery, use only one object, shorten the exercise, or adapt it in any way that feels more supportive for you and your system.
Is this meant to replace therapy or other supports?
No. This exercise is a supplemental tool for grounding and self-regulation. It can be used on its own or alongside therapy, but it’s not a substitute for professional support or trauma-focused treatment when that’s needed.
What if I feel resistant or nothing seems to fit?
That’s information, not failure. Resistance often signals a need for more choice, more distance, or a different approach altogether. You can pause, try again later, or decide this exercise isn’t right for you — all of those are valid outcomes.