Oftentimes, when people think about system communication in DID, they think of alters having clear conversations internally. While this can be true, it isn’t the only way communication occurs in DID. Many systems do not experience clear internal conversations; this is normal. It can be helpful to learn about other ways systems communicate.
What system communication is
Communication is not the same as conversation. Communication is information being given by one part or alter to another. System communication happens in many forms:
• thoughts • emotions • urges • body sensations • memory fragments • shifts in behavior or energy
Once it is understood that spoken words are only one possible form, people may be able to recognize their system is experiencing more communication than they were aware of.
Why system communication is often difficult
System communication can be difficult at first because DID systems were designed to compartmentalize experiences, not share them. At the time DID developed, the individual’s safety came from alters not having access to each other and each other’s memories. The nervous system focused on making sure the walls between alters remained strong. Because alters were intended to keep their experiences separated, the nervous system did not prioritize wiring for communication between alters. Developing system communication can take time and persistence, and silence in the initial attempts does not mean that alters are refusing to communicate. They may not be able to at that point. This is very normal.
Indirect and uneven communication is normal
Communication within the system, especially early on, may be inconsistent. It may be easier at some times than others. And it may be one-way rather than both alters responding to each other.
It is common when individuals start attempting to communicate with their systems to feel like they are talking to an empty room. They do not get a response or they do not recognize a response until afterward. This still counts as communication.
Communication, safety, and trust
Internal safety is crucial to communication. The safer system members feel, the more likely it is that communication can occur. Alternately, pressure, urgency, or fear can make it harder for alters to communicate. Trust is a component of safety, and trust takes time to develop. Persisting in efforts to communicate helps others in the system start to develop trust. Communication cannot be forced. Trust and safety make cooperation more likely.
What system communication is not
It can be helpful to know that system communication is not consistent early in recovery. It may not be clear or fast. If system communication seems to be lacking, know that with persistence, it can change. A lack of response does not mean the system is refusing to communicate. Over time, many systems find that communication grows as safety and trust increase.