Many survivors of complex trauma feel unsafe or uncomfortable using boundaries because they weren’t allowed to have any when growing up. Some people were punished for trying to hold a boundary; it’s understandable that the idea of having boundaries now could feel unsafe. People who were raised without models for how to make and hold boundaries may feel uncertain about doing it “right.”
People who survived a traumatic childhood by people-pleasing learned to put others first and themselves last. Boundaries may feel wrong because they prioritize the person who is used to being last in line. Even reasonable boundaries can result in guilt and shame in these circumstances.
This page is part of the How Do Boundaries Function in Dissociative Identity Disorder section of the CommuniDID site, which explains why limits may feel unsafe, how parts react differently to boundaries, and how boundary-setting supports stability and identity.
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