So much in healing can seem uncertain or out of your control, but you can be intentional about your focus. You can:
- notice what you repeatedly practice
- choose where your attention goes
- decide whether you return to regulation skills, internal check-ins, or self-compassion
- make repeated efforts such as practicing a coping skill or trying to communicate with your system
- work on increasing safety, predictability, rest, stability, and support
- reduce unnecessary stress, pressure, and overwhelm where possible
- work on treating yourself and your system with more patience and less criticism
You can’t control the outcome, but you can control much of what you are doing to try to heal. Focus on those choices. For example, you have no direct control over creating system communication, but you can commit to a daily system meeting, which may make communication more likely.
This page is part of the Understanding the Trauma Healing Process section of the CommuniDID site, which explains why recovery can feel slow, confusing, or discouraging and why experiences like grief, exhaustion, and resistance are common during the healing process.
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