Reducing shame between parts involves replacing criticism with curiosity. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with you?” the system can ask, “What were you trying to protect?” or “What were you trying to accomplish?” Validating the protective function behind behaviors reduces hostility and builds trust.
When parts better understand what other parts experienced, what role they developed for, or what they are trying to prevent, judgment of others may decrease. This can decrease shame between parts. Some systems find it helpful to remind themselves that every part developed for a reason, even if their current behavior is difficult or harmful.
Reducing shame may involve practicing more respectful internal communication, reassurance, validation, and patience. Therapy can also help systems understand where internal shame came from and build more compassion between parts.
This page is part of the Shame in Dissociative Systems section of the CommuniDID site, which explains how shame develops in dissociative systems and how it can affect identity, behavior, and relationships between parts.
Explore more:
- Questions about Shame in Dissociative Systems
- Why Does Shame Feel So Intense or Overwhelming?
- What Triggers Shame in Trauma and Dissociation
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