About the examples
Internal agreements can take many forms. They don’t have to be formal, rigid, or perfectly followed to be meaningful. Many systems start with simple, flexible understandings that reflect their current needs and capacity. The examples below are meant to be starting points that illustrate possibilities, not requirements.
Task-Related Agreements
Some agreements focus on how day-to-day responsibilities are handled. These can help reduce confusion, prevent overlap, and support consistency in areas that require ongoing attention.
- Who handles work, school, or daily responsibilities
- Who manages appointments or scheduling
- Agreeing on timing or conditions for routines (for example, going to bed by a certain time or areeing to rest before continuing when the body feels tired)
Decision-Making Agreements
Agreements around decision-making can help create a sense of internal coordination, especially when choices affect multiple parts or carry emotional weight.
- Checking internally before major decisions
- Agreeing to revisit decisions if concerns come up later
- Avoiding big decisions during high stress
Relationship Agreements
Some agreements focus on how the system relates to others. These can help create more consistency, protect safety, and reduce confusion in relationships.
- Steps to take when feeling overwhelmed
- Who takes over in high-stress situations
- Avoiding environments that are likely to be destabilizing
Information-Sharing Agreements
Agreements about sharing information can improve internal awareness and reduce confusion, especially when different parts are active at different times.
- Writing things down to share information
- Using a shared system (such as a journal or app)
- Sharing important updates internally
Fronting and Coordination Agreements
Some agreements focus on how fronting is managed, especially in situations where coordination can reduce disruption or stress.
- Who fronts in specific contexts (for example, work, social situations, or appointments)
- Asking before switching when possible
- Setting limits on interrupting or taking over
Emotional Regulation Agreements
These agreements can support safer ways of handling strong emotions and reduce the likelihood of reactive or harmful responses.
- How strong emotions are expressed
- Pausing before acting on intense feelings
- Allowing another part to step in when needed
Self-Care Agreements
Some agreements focus on maintaining basic needs and overall functioning, especially when consistency is difficult.
- Maintaining basic needs such as eating, hydration, and sleep
- Taking medication as prescribed
- Resting when needed
Therapy & Healing Agreements
Agreements related to therapy can help create clarity, reduce internal conflict, and support a more coordinated approach to healing.
- Who attends therapy sessions
- What is shared in therapy
- Pacing trauma work to avoid overwhelm
Safety & Crisis Agreements
These agreements focus on what to do during periods of significant distress or risk, helping to create a clearer path to safety.
- What to do when feeling unsafe
- Steps to take during a crisis
- Contacting support or using external resources
Building Agreements Over Time
Internal agreements can start small and develop over time. Not every agreement will work right away, and some may need to be adjusted or revisited. Flexibility, patience, and ongoing communication are part of the process, and even small steps toward coordination can be meaningful.
Learn more:
Struggling with internal conflict, risk, or unpredictability in your system?
Many dissociative systems use internal agreements to reduce harm and create structure. System Safety and Internal Agreements explains how shared rules, crisis plans, and system-level boundaries can support safety and stability.
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