My Alters Feel Like People. Is This a Bad Thing?
(Summary) Is it wrong to think of alters as “people”? In DID and OSDD communities, this question comes up often—and opinions vary widely. Some worry that calling alters “people” increases separation, but for many, it actually strengthens respect, connection, and trust. The key isn’t about choosing the “right” word—it’s about building relationships that support cooperation and healing within your system.
This is a question from a viewer who asked something I hear often in the DID and OSDD communities:
“Is it really that bad to view or call your alters ‘people,’ even if I know they’re all parts of a whole—and not technically separate people with their own brain and skeleton?”
You’re not alone in wondering this. There are a lot of different opinions out there—and honestly, that can make things more confusing instead of clearer.
So let’s talk about it.
The concern some experts have is this: they want to make sure people with DID or OSDD don’t accidentally increase fragmentation. That is, they want to avoid reinforcing separation and disconnection between system members—because that can make healing harder.
And that concern does matter. When parts become more cut off from each other, it can lead to more internal chaos, confusion, and reactivity. It’s harder to function. There’s less communication, less cooperation. So yes—those are real things to be cautious about.
But here’s where things often go wrong: people get told what not to say without being told why.
You might hear something like, “Don’t call them people. They’re not real people.”
But what does that actually mean—and how is that supposed to feel for someone living with DID?
Let’s flip the lens for a second.
If you have DID or OSDD, you’re often very aware that your system includes parts who feel like other people. They may have their own thoughts, feelings, reactions, and ways of seeing the world. They might feel like individuals. And saying they’re “not real people” can feel like denying their existence—or rejecting something that feels deeply true.
So when someone says “Don’t call them people,” it can feel invalidating. Even disrespectful.
The truth is, you can understand that your parts are part of a shared self and honor their individuality at the same time.
What matters most is your relationship with them—not just the vocabulary.
If calling them “people” helps you feel closer, more respectful, or more curious—then that may be exactly what your system needs.
There’s no universal rule here. What matters is what supports connection, trust, and healing in your system.
You’re not doing it wrong if your parts feel like people. And you’re not doing it wrong if they don’t.
The goal isn’t to pick the “right” label—it’s to relate to each other with care.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it wrong to call alters “people”?
No. While some experts caution against it because they don’t want to reinforce fragmentation, what matters most is how your words affect your relationship with your parts. If “people” feels respectful and helps connection, it’s not wrong to use it. Language is a tool—its value depends on the outcome for your system.
2. Could calling parts “people” make DID worse?
It’s unlikely to make things worse if you’re using the term with care. The real risk of fragmentation comes from parts being isolated, cut off, or forced into rigid roles—not from a word itself. If calling them “people” fosters communication and cooperation, it can actually support healing rather than hinder it.
3. What should I do if my therapist disagrees?
You can explain why the language feels important to you and how it helps your system. Therapists may be trying to prevent harm, but they may not realize how invalidating it can feel. A collaborative discussion—rather than an argument—can help you find language that works for both of you.
4. Do all systems see their parts as people?
No. Some systems experience parts as people-like, while others experience them more as states, roles, or voices. Both are valid. There’s no single right way to understand or describe your system. The diversity of experiences is part of what makes dissociation so complex.
5. What’s the best way to think about alters overall?
Think of them as parts of you that developed to survive overwhelming experiences. They may feel and function like separate people, but you all share one body, one brain, and common needs. Honoring both individuality and unity helps create the balance that healing requires.