What Gardening Can Teach Us About Healing from DID

Healing from DID and complex trauma can feel overwhelming, like inheriting a garden full of weeds you never planted. Old patterns such as people-pleasing, emotional overwhelm, or shutting down in conflict may keep resurfacing, no matter how many times you’ve tried to clear them. In this post, we’ll explore how tending your inner garden with patience, self-compassion, and system cooperation can help reshape your inner landscape over time.

Imagine inheriting a wild, overgrown garden full of weeds you never planted. That’s what DID healing can feel like.

As a child, others planted many things in your inner garden—some beautiful, but many painful. They left behind weeds, tangled roots, and plants that don’t serve you now.

As an adult, this garden is yours to tend. You didn’t choose everything growing here, but it’s now in your care. Some of what you inherited may show up as old patterns: people-pleasing that keeps creeping back like vines, emotional reactions that sprout up fast like thistles, or shutting down when conflict appears, like a patch of soil that’s gone dry and cracked.

And just like a real garden, clearing these things isn’t a one-time task. Weeds reappear. Old habits resprout. It can feel frustrating when you’ve pulled the same weed a dozen times and it still comes back. But that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. That’s simply how gardens work — and how healing works, too.

But tending your garden isn’t only about pulling weeds. It’s also about planting what you do want: seeds of self-compassion, boundaries that grow strong like hedges, and cooperation within your system. Over time, these new plants take up space where the old weeds once thrived.

And remember, gardens move in seasons. Some are full of visible growth, while others feel quiet, even empty. But even in dormancy, the soil is shifting and preparing for what’s next. Healing has those seasons too.

So if your garden still looks messy, take heart. Every bit of tending matters. Every time you practice self-compassion or set a small boundary, you’re reshaping your inner landscape. Over time, with patience and care, your garden can hold more of what you’ve chosen to grow — and less of what was planted by others.