Can Parents With DID Safely Raise Kids?

(Summary) Parenting with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) can raise questions about safety, custody, and children’s well-being. While stigma and custody disputes may unfairly target parents with DID, many systems prioritize their children’s care and create safeguards to keep them safe. Understanding how dissociative systems approach parenting can bring reassurance and clarity.

Sometimes clients worry about whether it is safe for them to be taking care of their child when they have DID. And sometimes when there is a custody dispute, the non-DID partner will try to use the other parent’s DID as a reason the DID parent shouldn’t get custody. So, should there be concern?

I can’t speak to specific cases, obviously, or to all cases, but I can share my observations with you. What I have observed with my OSDD and DID clients who have children is that the childrens’ well-being is a system priority. I have seen that some system members are afraid to be around the children because these parts are still stuck in trauma-time and assume the children will be abused the way they were. This is upsetting to these parts, who don’t recognize the children as their children. These trauma-holding parts believe the children are going to be abused the way they were and, understandably, don’t want to witness it. In these cases, those parts tend to not front around the children, staying inside and unaware of the children as much as possible. Some everyday life parts in a system may have little interest in doing the parenting. This is fair because, after all, not all adults are interested in being parents. I have seen that these alters try to ensure other parts are handling the parenting whenever possible but still step in when necessary. What I’ve seen is that clients, as a system, value their children highly and their top priority is making sure the children are well cared for.