When You Have No One But Your Therapist
(Summary) Living with DID can feel deeply isolating—especially if only your therapist or one other person understands. That loneliness isn’t proof you’re broken. Many survivors struggle to connect not because they don’t want to, but because the people around them couldn’t show up. With intention and creativity, you can start building safe, supportive connections—both online and in real life—that remind you healing doesn’t have to be done alone.
What if it’s just you, your therapist, and maybe one person in your life who gets it—kind of?
It’s not just lonely.
There’s an ache to connect, and a sinking sense that maybe you’re the problem—and that nothing will change.
But here’s the truth: this is so common. Especially for people with DID.
A lot of survivors lose connection to others not because they’re broken, but because the people around them never knew how to show up.
And sometimes, after everything you’ve been through, even wanting connection can feel dangerous. The risk of being hurt again can make isolation feel safer—even when it hurts.
If that’s where you are, it’s not your fault.
And it doesn’t mean you’re beyond help. It just means you’ll need to be more intentional—and maybe more creative—about the kinds of support you build.
That’s why I put together a social connection resource.
It starts with small, local options—but most of it focuses on online spaces where people with DID gather, share, and support each other.
You don’t have to jump in. You can just watch, listen, and see what feels safe.
You don’t have to do this with a big support system.
But you do deserve something. Even if it’s just one place to start.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I start finding support if I’m scared of reaching out?
Begin small. You don’t have to post or introduce yourself right away. Simply observing a supportive forum, group, or chat can give you a sense of what feels safe. Over time, you can try a tiny step—liking a comment, sending a private message, or attending one low-pressure event. Little steps matter.
2. How can I tell if an online space for DID is safe?
Look at the tone of the discussions. Are members respectful? Do moderators set clear boundaries and protect members from harmful posts? Are there privacy rules about sharing details? A healthy space should feel orderly, non-shaming, and free of pressure to disclose more than you want.
3. What if connection still feels dangerous?
That’s normal. Many survivors have learned that closeness equals risk. You don’t have to force yourself to override that feeling. Instead, start with “gentle exposure”—brief, low-stakes interactions, or even reading supportive material without engaging. Over time, positive experiences can help your nervous system relearn that some connection can be safe.
4. Can one supportive person really make a difference?
Yes. Even a single consistent, trustworthy person can reduce loneliness, model healthy relating, and give you a base of support for healing. Don’t underestimate the power of one good connection, especially if it feels manageable right now.
5. How do I deal with feeling like I’m the problem?
That belief is a trauma echo, not a truth. Losing connection often reflects other people’s limitations—not your worth. Reminding yourself of this, journaling examples of when you did reach out, or talking about it with your therapist can help loosen that self-blame and make space for hope.