Daily Structure that Works for DID Systems
(Summary) Building structure with DID or ADHD doesn’t have to mean starting from scratch. The easiest way is to anchor new habits to routines you already do—like taking your dog out or brushing your teeth. By layering one small, predictable step at a time, you reduce overwhelm and increase success. For DID systems, this also invites parts into the process, turning everyday habits into moments of cooperation and healing.
In the last video, I talked about the first step in creating structure or a schedule for yourself — the daily system meeting. That’s where it starts. In this video, we’re going to build on that — but gently. Remember, the goal isn’t to pile on so much that it becomes overwhelming. We’re adding, not overloading.
Now, you might not know this, but I have ADHD. And a lot of my clients do too. While ADHDers don’t face the exact same challenges around structure as DID systems do, we absolutely relate to the frustration — and to how hard it can be to create structure that actually sticks.
Let’s be honest: trying to build a new habit from scratch? It’s a heavy lift. And it can feel like failure after failure. That’s true with ADHD — and it’s often even more true when you’re a system. So here’s the shift: instead of trying to create structure from nothing, let’s build on what’s already working.
Let’s say the first thing you do in the morning — almost every day — is take your dog out. It’s part of your routine. And unless someone else in the house occasionally helps out, that task has to happen. The dog needs to do their business, right?
That makes this routine predictable. Reliable. And that’s what we want to build from. So maybe the next step is this: “After I walk the dog, I take my medication.” That one change — tying meds to a routine — can make a huge difference. Not just in remembering to take them, but also in not second-guessing later.
“Did I already take them?” “Did I forget?” When your medication becomes part of a predictable flow, it’s easier for your brain — and your system — to track. And I know… adding one thing might feel too small to matter. But we’re not done.
You can use this same method to build more structure over time. Find other anchors in your day — things you already do without thinking too much. Each one is an opportunity to layer on one new task, one helpful behavior, one stabilizing habit.
And don’t forget the daily system meeting. That can become another anchor. If you haven’t watched that video yet, I’d suggest going back to it. Because the daily system meeting is more than a helpful routine — it’s also a chance to succeed. It creates structure and system connection at the same time.
Let your insiders know about the routine you’re trying to add. Ask for their help. Even if you can’t communicate well yet — they can still help you. And if the routine benefits the whole system, make sure they know that. Parts may be more willing to participate when they know it’s not just about the host — it’s about them, too.
That might sound small, but it’s actually big. Every time you invite your system into something like this — even something simple — you’re making progress in both system communication and system cooperation. You’re literally moving toward healing with that one small act of sharing your goal and asking for help in making it happen.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What if I don’t have a daily routine to anchor new habits to?
You can start small by identifying anything you tend to do regularly, even if it doesn’t happen at the same time every day. It might be brushing your teeth, making coffee, checking your phone, or feeding a pet. The point isn’t perfection — it’s finding a consistent-enough touchpoint that you can link something new onto. Even “when I open my laptop” can become an anchor.
2. What if my system resists new routines?
Resistance is common and doesn’t mean that you will never have a routine. Sometimes parts worry that change will be overwhelming or unsafe. You can acknowledge their concerns and remind them that you’re adding only one tiny step at a time. Framing routines as something that benefits the whole system can also reduce pushback, since it feels more like teamwork than control.
3. How is this different from habit stacking in ADHD resources?
It’s very similar! The main difference for DID systems is the focus on system communication and cooperation. You’re not just building an external routine, you’re also looping insiders into the process. That way, you’re creating both structure and connection at the same time — which helps strengthen trust inside your system.
4. What if I forget the new step anyway?
That’s normal. Forgetting doesn’t mean it won’t work — it just means your brain and system need more time. Gentle reminders (like sticky notes, alarms, or a part who agrees to help remember) can make a big difference. With repetition, the new step will gradually feel more automatic.
5. Can adding just one small step really matter?
Yes. Small changes are often more powerful than big overhauls, especially for systems. One consistent win builds confidence, reduces shame, and creates momentum for the next step. Over time, those little additions add up to a much stronger foundation of structure and system cooperation. See the short video Why Small Actions Create Big Change in Trauma Recovery for more information