2 Fast Ways to Interrupt the Harsh Self-Talk Cycle
Self-criticism can spiral into harsher symptoms for DID systems — but there are ways to interrupt it. In this video, you’ll learn how unblending helps you step back from critical thoughts and see them as coming from a part, not your whole self. You’ll also discover how curiosity turns self-attack into exploration, with simple questions to ask about the thought, its purpose, and how your body reacts. With practice, these tools create both immediate relief and long-term healing.
Recently, I talked about the reasons being self-critical can worsen your systems and what that can look like. I also told you that I’d give you a program for interrupting this cycle. Fair warning, this is not an easy process, but it is very doable with practice. You might find it easier to succeed with this process with the support of a therapist.
When you notice you are being self-critical or harsh toward yourself, you’ve got to stop and unblend. Even though that harsh or critical thought feels like it is yours, it’s not. It’s actually from one of your parts. To unblend, you’ll want to use the Five Steps to Unblending. Click the video on screen to the video about how to unblend, and get the summary handout.
If you are aware that you are likely blended but can’t remember the 5 Steps for Unblending, you can get curious. Start to explore this critical thought. For instance, what part do you think is thinking this way? When you think about your traumatic past, how would this part’s critical thoughts have been helpful? When you hear this critical thought, do you have a reaction anywhere in your body? What does that feel like? Is it a hot feeling or a cold feeling? Is it a hard feeling or a soft feeling? Do you feel energized from this critical thought, or do you feel defeated? As much as you can, explore this thought, the intentions behind it, and your reactions to it as if you are a scientist and you have to make a report on this event.
Curiosity can interrupt or dampen the cycle of self-criticism leading to worsened symptoms. No one needs to know you are doing it. And if you are at work or somewhere out of the home, you may be able to buy yourself the few minutes of privacy for this process by going to the bathroom. I want to give you motivation to practice unblending and getting curious. Both of these techniques are important tools for healing. Each time you use these tools, you are helping an incremental bit of healing to occur and laying the foundation for bigger healing in the future. So unblending and being curious can give you both immediate and long-term benefits.